Untitled (July 1,2012)

Rain, please, I beg of you,
Dance your rain drops somewhere new,
His grave is mine, please do not drown,
The son I birthed into the ground,
I ache inside to save his soul,
My heart is empty, filled with holes,
Let me bring him home with me,
To see his smile shine so brightly,
I want to protect, I want to hold,
The hours drag on and make me cold,
Save me, save me, someone please,
My little boy is dead, you see,
This pain is murder, its cruel to me,
Why am I to carry this burden? Why me?

Untitled (June 21,2012)

Tears falling, slipping, tracing my cheeks in sweet relief,

This pain, this heart break, all the cruelty of grief,

Struggling to fight for this life, longing to slumber for eternity,

But unlike my son, passed before born, truly innocent..I am full of impurity,

The night is silent, echoes of nothingness, the abyss,

Pondering with a wounded heart, what am I destined to miss,

Guilt rips through me, no words comfort now,

Why me? Why us? Could I have saved him somehow?

Missing the sweet cries of life, the beautiful laughs and more,

Why did death come knocking on the door?

My heart is so heavy, my feet shackled to chains,

Dragging myself through the misery and pain,

I didn't hear you laugh or see your smile,

Destined to wait for such a long while,

What color are your eyes? Who would you look like today?

To see your face once more is all that I pray,

I wish they could help me, I wish I could cry,

But when they see my pain, I feel horrible, so I lie,

Inside I am breaking, shattered, barely breathing,

My mind is on edge, I worry for his safe keeping,

The hours drag on of loneliness, of unwanting,

It seems like the world has small babies they're flaunting,

Why don't you call? Am I forgotten so soon?

Do you think I am crazy, a lonely old moon,

I am alone...my son...is dead....

A parents worst nightmare I wake to from bed,

Forget me, fine but do not forget,

The baby I carried, my child, is not a regret.

We Are Nature (June 13,2012)

We are barren trees in a forest,
Stripped of our sprouting leafs,
Blended, yet, out of place,
Awkward, of same species and yet not,
A reminder of emptyness,
An unwanted ugliness to the innocent world.

We are vines, searching, stretching towards a support to lift us from the ground,
Our stories seem to smother you, the details pesky, getting in the way of your growing life,
Outcasted, growing more and more with every passing day,
When will you notice us?

We are wilted flowers, deprived of the life giving rain,
A blemish in the beauty of open fields of blooming roses,
We are cast away in the wind, forgotten, dieing, falling apart,
Becoming one with the earth, sprouting anew with hope and beauty.

By: Andrea Gimlin

Imagine (June 8,2012)

Imagine, for a moment, a lifeless body in your arms,
What if it was the little One you fight to keep from harm.
Imagine, if you will, the hugs and kisses on mothers day,
What if life decided to rip those moments far away.
Imagine, I do beg, those pretty flowers in the store,
You bought to bring a baby's grave you love with all your core.
Imagine, if the crib you lay your baby down to sleep,
Instead it was a coffin for a son you'll never get to keep.
Imagine when you hold your child safe from a stormy night,
Instead you watched the rain pour down on a baby out of sight.
Imagine, in a moment, the erie silence of a death,
Only to realize that your baby never drew a breath.
Imagine if the only pictures were captured in only hours time,
Could you find the words to say during such a horrid crime,
Imagine when you woke to light, full of hope and love,
To realize that your pregnancy has passed and what you were dreaming of.
Imagine the pain inside your chest when you realize the baby is gone,
The world would seem unfair to you, this life is just so wrong.

Night Unfair (June 7,2012)

Silent night be kind to me, my heart is aching so,
I want to hold the baby that I barely got to know,
I long to hear those whimpered cries, begging to be fed,
It isn't fair his heartbeat's gone, it isn't fair he's dead,
Shining stars of night times light, show me he is safe,
So maybe my heart won't ache so bad and I can have some faith,
I wonder what he looks like, are his eyes as dark as mine,
Would he be like Daddy and his smile always shine,
Quite moon reflect a face to look like my sweet son,
When will I meet him, when will my life be done,
I wish, if for a moment, I could see the boy he'd be,
Instead I'm left to dream, imagine but never see,
A mother left with empty arms, my work was all for nothing,
An angel I did bear, so I guess that counts for something,
Were my dreams not good enough, were my hopes to high,
Why would you keep me from him, and leave us here to cry,
My firstborn you took away, a baby stolen in the night,
My pride and joy, my saving grace, my shining star that was so bright,
What made him unfit to see the world, why me, it isn't fair,
No baby for my gentle hands to care.

By: Andrea Gimlin

Angel Baby (June 6,2012)

Stars above like diamonds grace took my baby from this place,

Gave him wings, so soft, so white, to guide me by the moon lit night,

His presence warm as the summer sun, a journey that has just begun,

Our hearts beat close like in the womb, my little boy was gone to soon,

Destined for greatness this world he left, days before he could take his first breath,

Strong like his father he took charge, guiding us when the hours are harsh,

Soft as the breeze his kisses on me, soaring the sky with a will to be free,

His limits are broken, not contained by this life, destined to be a star in the night,

Do not stand at the grave for his soul is so free, the way an angel is meant to be,

Beautiful eyes full of life and of love, never knowing the pain that we know of,

Weeping, sometimes, to be held in the arms, of loving parents that would keep him from harm,

Sweet baby, sweet love we miss you so, how were you the first to go?

The beating inside of your tiny heart was music when we were close yet apart,

I dream of your smile, your fingers and toes, inside my mind you still bloom like a rose,

I imagine your laugh, so vibrant and pure, just like your daddy, this I am sure,

Your cooing and laughter I longed to hear, I wish you were given a chance to be here,

But out of the gems God chose a diamond, to be in the heavens, away from confinement,

I'm proud of you Gabriel, my beautiful boy, heaven is a place for you to enjoy,

Remember our hearts are always entwined, and I have an angel that's special and mine.

By: Andrea Gimlin

Hear Me (May 24,2012)

Moon be quick to set away and please bring forth another day,

The nightmares haunt me of laboring birth, a breathless child I brought the earth,

Save me sweet light of morning glow, cool and crisp like winters snow,

Protect me Lord from my own mind, guide me to your loving kind,

I weep for you, I beg for saving, these nightmares make me feel like caving,

Give me the strength I once felt from you, renew me, fresh as the morning dew,

Show me my son, let me know he is safe, that truly you've made a sacred place,

You know of my struggles, you feel my pain, I know you keep me from going insane,

Was he truly to beautiful for these arms of mine, give me an answer, a trace of a sign,

I know you know best but why me I ask? Was I not ready for this beautiful task?

Lord I am begging, I need you now, I'm reaching for you, guide me somehow,

Tell my sweet baby of the love we share, that for him my heart beats and I'm always there,

Tell him great stories and sing him to sleep, shelter him from my cries that I weep,

I know you will hold him till I come along, that you will teach him right from wrong,

I'm just a mother who worries so much, though I know he is safe in your glowing touch,

I'm trying to open my weeping heart to you, I just don't know if its something I can do,

Forgive me of anger, I'm not really mad, this pain of my loss makes me desperately sad,

This is all new, I never did know, that my son would actually be the first to go,

Lord help me, your love is so pure, with your help I know there must be a cure.

By: Andrea Gimlin

Untitled (May 22,2012)

A star was born the day you left, a special place that you are kept,
At night I watch the distant glow, it's where you are, that I know,
When the day is long and the hours cruel,I try to focus on finding you,
I imagine you smile, your beautiful eyes, and all your little happy cries,
I'm sure it's fun wherever you are, my bright and beautiful baby star.


By: Andrea Gimlin

Soar (May 10,2012)

Son, my deepest wish is for you to know my love,

To know I would give anything to bring you back into my arms,

Spread your beautiful angel wings and soar amongst the stars,

Don't look back but go, be free.

You will never know fear, nor worry,

You will always know the power of love,

In heaven there is no pain, only peace,

You will not feel hunger, only fullness.

Your beautiful soul knew life in its simplest forms,

In ways we take for granted every day,

You will never be sick but lively,

You won't ever feel guilt, nor failure,

Soar little one, you have no limits,

I know in my heart you are strong,

You are a gift, a precious diamond among pebbles,

You will never be lonely, only surrounded by beauty,

Where you are is perfect, safely wrapped in a garden of silk,

What mother wouldn't want that?

You will never feel heartbreak,

Simply put, you are safe, you are protected for eternity,

My heart aches because I miss you,

To know you aren't hurting though, that eases my fears,

You make heaven beautiful,

Leaving behind a world that wasn't ready for your love,

Your essence is pure, it is hope,

You are the guiding light in our lives.

By: Andrea Gimlin

March 18,2012 (Meant to be put away for Gabriel)

Three little words can never express this feeling deep inside,

My love for you is endless, safe, a comfort when you cry,

I never knew these feelings could be so strong and pure,

And if I were to lose you, I know there would be no cure,

Your my baby, my sweetest son, the essence of my life,

When it comes to you the very best never will suffice,

I may not buy you what you want or spoil you with toys,

Instead I promise to care for you, my crazy little boy,

I will smother you with kisses and hold you oh so close,

Because when it comes to you, there is no perfect dose,

I promise to protect you and hold you when you're scared,

I will hug you after a time-out, to show you I still care,

There are times you may not like me, but that's okay you see,

Eventually you'll understand why I seem so "mean",

I will teach you right from wrong, left from right and A to Z,

Tickle you, chase you and play hide-and-seek,

I dream about you every night, of the adventures we will share,

I wake up in the morning wondering when I'll get to hold my baby bear,

Soon, i know, so soon but some days not soon enough,

Remember son, forever and always, you will always have my love.

By: Andrea Gimlin

Mirror, Mirror. (May 3,2012)

Mirror, Mirror, look at me, and tell me truly what you see.
I gaze in wonder at empty eyes, and watch the tears fall as she cries.
She seems so strong and yet so weak, who is this girl? She's new to me.
She's fighting hard, she struggles so, it seems as if she wants to go.
But there she stands, staring, waiting, a childish innocence is slowly fading.
She's witnessed something cruel and dark, she suffers from a broken heart.
Her tired eyes have not seen rest, I watch the rise and fall of her chest.
Deep inside's a hurricane, she's battling against the rain,
She lifts her shirt, and her face is breaking, she howls in pain and isn't faking.
As the tears fall she strokes her tummy, reminded its true that she is a mommy,
A dark line is evidence of what was lost, the innocent child, her painful loss.
I do not know the woman she became, but something has changed in all this pain.
Her laugh is so hollow, her voice slightly off, she tries to be normal but can't pull it off.
She fights back the weakness, clinging to strength, she wants to hold on at any length.
Over and over she comes to the mirror, hoping to see things a little more clearer.
So again I ask, with your face made of glass,
Mirror, mirror, look at me, and tell me what you truly see.


By: Andrea Gimlin

Mommy! Mommy! (May 2,2012)

Mommy! Mommy! Look at me! I earned my angel wings, you see.
I can soar high like Peter Pan, sometimes I pretend I'm superman.
I dive so fast into your arms, and fight to keep you safe from harm.
When you're asleep I cuddle close, and listen to the heart I know.
I remember when you sang to me, where I was warm and cuddly.
I heard Daddy's voice so strong and remember when he'd read so long.
I felt you rub my tiny feet, my parents I couldn't wait to meet.
But something happend, we don't know why and now I watch you sit and cry.
I wish you knew that I was safe and heaven's such a pretty place.
It's unfair we had to part but I am always in your heart.
We will meet when the time is right and I will never be far from sight.
Until that time still sing to me, just beyond the stars I'll be.
God needs angels to bring people home, so they don't feel all alone.
But when you get here we'll meet each other, I could never have a better mother.


By: Andrea Gimlin

My Love (April 21,2012)

My love for you is timeless, it is beautiful, it is pure.
Even in death our love continues to grow, blossoming and new.
My tender kisses reach beyond the stars, and in my dreams I am with you.
I hold you close within me and you live on with every beat of my heart.
I look in the mirror and I see you, you're forever in Daddy too.
Though I may never watch you grow, or hear you laugh or soothe your cries,
Pain will not touch you, you are frozen in time with innocence.
Your soul is pure, you are clean, you are a worthy angel.
My heart still aches at times and my tears seem to never end.
But soon my love, I'll hold you close and you'll never leave my arms again.
I do not know the hour where we will meet again,
But in my heart you'll always be, so you're never far away.
A mothers love is stronger and it breaks the rules when needed.
You know if I could bring you back, I would give my life to do it.
It is a tragedy to lose such a little one, so fragile, so small,
But I know you are my blood, so you know how to be strong.
Remember, if you get sad sometimes come see me in my dreams.
I'll kiss away the tears and smother you with kisses it will seem.
If I get lost, I look above and see your smile in the stars.
When my arms feel empty or I need a hug, I feel your warmth within the sun.
And when the wind blows, I know you're here, keeping mommy safe.
Gabriel, my sweet Gabriel, remember me in heaven.


By: Andrea Gimlin